CoUNSELING SERVICES
Best Friend Gone Project
The Best Friend Gone Project provides brief, confidential, and free pet loss counseling services, available both in-person and by phone. We recognize that the loss of a cherished pet can profoundly affect various aspects of your life, including personal, professional, and social spheres. While the grief associated with pet loss is becoming more acknowledged, society often does not fully appreciate the similarities between the loss of a pet and the loss of a human companion. For many adults, the loss of a pet can be especially profound, as pets often serve as constant companions and may hold deeper significance than some human relationships in daily life. Pet owners may also encounter criticism regarding the time and money spent on veterinary care or memorializing their pets. In many cases, sympathy and support are lacking, yet understanding and acknowledgment of the grief are crucial for fostering a healthy recovery. Pet loss is a significant emotional experience.
Grief is a natural emotional response to loss, often manifesting in feelings such as guilt, anger, loneliness, and fatigue, among others. These emotions can be intense and overwhelming. Physically, individuals may also experience disruptions in sleep and appetite.
Please know that you are not alone in your grief. Even if you do not utilize these counseling services, we encourage you to explore the community resources listed below, including support groups, reading recommendations, podcasts, and more, to assist you during this challenging time.
For some individuals, the grieving process begins before the pet’s death. We invite you to reach out to our counselor for support regarding anticipatory grief and end-of-life decisions.
The most effective way to contact us is via email at kbaudoin@lsu.edu or by phone at 225-578-9452 (please leave a voicemail).
Anticipated Grief Process
Anticipatory grief is the distress a person may feel in the days, months, or even years before the death of a loved one or impending loss. Anticipatory grief can develop from unexpected diagnoses, e.g. diabetes, cancer, paralysis, and expensive treatments. Those experiencing anticipatory grief report feeling anxiety, dread, guilt, and an intense preoccupation with the pet to name a few.
Please note that pet parents may also develop caregiver fatigue during this time as well; tasks that contribute to caregiver fatigue include caring for an animal who has accidents in the house, administering subcutaneous fluids, managing multiple medications, and/or assisting with mobility issues. As a pet parent experiencing this kind of fatigue, remember to give yourself grace; caregiving is exhausting! Remember that having the associated feelings with caregiver fatigue does NOT mean you love your pet any less. Try to prioritize your self-care, too. Lastly, do not forget the reason you are going through all of this—the love and bond you share with your pet—so carve out time to spend with them in a non-caregiving capacity.
THE GRIEF JOURNEY THAT STARTS BEFORE THE LOSS: ANTICIPATORY GRIEF
Grief Process
The grief process is widely understood through the six stages outlined by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. These stages are commonly experienced by most individuals and can offer valuable insight into the emotional adjustment process, facilitating recovery. It is important to note that these stages may not always follow a linear progression and can fluctuate. The grieving process is unique to each individual, varying significantly from person to person. Its duration can range from a few days to several years, depending on one's emotional journey. The six stages are as follows:
Denial: As a natural defense mechanism, denial helps protect individuals from being overwhelmed by news of the loss. It may present itself as numbness or a refusal to accept the reality of the situation.
Bargaining: During this stage, individuals may engage in conscious or unconscious attempts to regain control or reverse the loss, often through thoughts like “What if?” or “If only…”
Anger: Anger can manifest either specifically or generally, and it can be expressed both directly and indirectly. In the case of pet loss, this anger may often appear as guilt.
Depression: This stage is often considered the heart of the grieving process, where grief feels most intense. It represents the emotional pain involved in accepting the loss and letting go.
Personal Growth: This stage marks the beginning of recovery, where individuals may recognize meaning or experience personal growth from the loss or from their pet’s life.
Acceptance and Resolution: The final stage involves accepting both the loss and the growth achieved through the grieving process. It represents a new reality and a sense of peace with what has transpired.
Veterinarians and mental health professionals both acknowledge that the grief response to the loss of an animal is legitimate, and grieving a pet is a natural and valid emotional experience.
Note: Children who are grieving the loss of a pet may struggle to express their feelings, either due to their age or because they are unwilling to verbalize their emotions.
Rainbow Bridge
At St. Tammany Parish Department of Animal Services Campus (31078 Hwy 36, Lacombe, LA 70445), Scott's Wish and Mardi Paws donated The Rainbow Bridge "...as a memorial site dedicated to pets in hopes of giving pet owners a tangible space to remember and honor their furry friends. We're hoping the special place provides a sense of closure and allows pet owners to pay tribute to the companionship, love, and joy their pets brought into their lives." The Rainbow Bridge is open 7 days a week during daylight hours. Leashed pets are welcome. For more information, please visit:
Additional Resources
Counselor
Mrs. Kayla Baudoin, MSW, LCSW (she/her/hers) is a licensed clinical social worker trained to deal with issues surrounding anticipated grief, end-of-life decisions, and grief and loss of a beloved companion. As the Best Friend Gone Project counselor, Mrs. Baudoin, can be reached at 225-578-9452 or via email at kbaudoin@lsu.edu.
Due to licensure regulations, you must be a resident of Louisiana to utilize these counseling services.
Urgent Mental Health Need
If this is an urgent mental health need and our counselor is unavailable, the below are recommended options:
- Connect with one of the 24/7 hotlines below:
- 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988
- Capital Area Human Services Crisis Intervention Center by dialing 1-844-452-2133
- National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) by texting 741-741
- National Mental Health Hotline by calling 1-866-903-3787
- Reach out to Lap of Love's Individual Pet Loss Support to schedule a session. Individual call sessions are led by a highly trained, professional grief coach who will offer a compassionate ear and a caring, safe space for the sharing of feelings and emotions surrounding the death of a loved pet. Note: Individual support sessions are not meant to be a substitute for mental health support with a licensed mental health counselor. Our pet loss support offerings are available as a “companioning” model, providing support to the caller, not counseling. Callers will be provided with additional counseling service referrals, if requested.
- Proceed to the nearest emergency room or call 911.